How To Recognize A Toxic Relationship

After my last post about Black Teen Girls, Spousal Abuse, and Tips On How Not To Fall Into The Trap, I had a couple of DMs asking me to identify what a toxic relationship looks like so I decided to do so immediately! Ladies, here are the RED FLAGS and they only need to have one of these for you to know that it’s a toxic atmosphere.
After my last post about Black Teen Girls, Spousal Abuse, and Tips On How Not To Fall Into The Trap, I had a couple of DMs asking me to identify what a toxic relationship looks like so I decided to do so immediately! Ladies, here are the RED FLAGS and they only need to have one of these for you to know that it’s a toxic atmosphere.

RED FLAGS:

• Controlling how you make decisions in life.
• Pressuring you to have sex, do sexual acts you’re not comfortable with, etc.
• Controlling your access to devices and/or social media.
• Wanting your passwords and location at all times.
• Belitting, demeaning, disrespecting, and/or shaming you whether in public or alone.
• Approaching you, or virtually showing you, weapons and threatening you to do what he wants.
• Being jealous and possessive.
• Restricting or preventing you from spending time, or merely talking to, your close family and friends.
• He tries to convince you that he hurt you or targeted you because you did something that often makes no sense to take that kinda revenge on.
• Always wanting to consume all your time.
• Stalking your social media where he’s always questioning you about something someone said on your posts or things being liked by someone.
• Acting one way in public and the opposite in private.
• Destroys your stuff; even if he just breaks your pencils and tears up paper.
• Fussing or telling you that you’re always doing something wrong or can never do something right.
• Attacks you and tells you that you deserve it and that you need to do something to comfort him.
• Pressuring you to use drugs/alcohol/undigestables.
• Blaming you for everything and/or for every action he makes and takes no accountability for his behavior, issues, and/or feelings.
• Tries to tell you that noone else loves you or cares about you but him.
• Controlling how much money you have or have access to.

REMEMBER LADIES…

When someone shows you who they are…believe them the first time!!! These kinds of habits rarely ever change and they never produce positive results. Oh and remember Sis…don’t escalate, don’t engage, don’t tell him you’re going to tell someone, and plan your escape if you are alone and in his habitat (house, car, his friend’s house/car, etc.) cause he might attack and it can mean you life. Don’t think of a second because he’s a young teen like you (or a grown man; for ya’ll who dating older O_o ) and he won’t end your life for outing him.

Sincerely,

— AlonaLeoine