Sis…Don’t Let Him Play In Your Face In 4K For V-Day! : More Red Flags

As Feb. 15th rolls in, I’m listening to some of my friends complain about the annoyances of their mates for the Valentine’s Day weekend or the situationship that didn’t mature or just seeing posts of sistahs upset about wasting their time and I just thought some things were things people knew but now I got more red flags for you.

Beyond the obvious low-effort energy and boundary-pushing, there’s a layer of “Dusty Energy” that is much more subtle and, honestly, more dangerous because it disguises itself as maturity or even romance. In 2026, as we refine our Gilded Perimeter, we have to look for the High-Resolution Red Flags. These are the ones that usually hide in plain sight until you’re already emotionally invested.

The Subtle Sabotage: A Deep Dive

1. The “Safety” Saboteur: Tariq St. Patrick (Power Book II: Ghost)
2. While Tariq is a protagonist, his relationship dynamics often fall into this trap. He is the ultimate “fixer.” He is most comfortable when the women in his life (like Lauren or Effie) are in a bind or need his protection. However, the moment they show independent agency or a brilliance that threatens his control or his “saviorship,” he becomes manipulative. He loves being the only person you can turn to, but he resents the version of you that is strong enough to stand without him.
   • The Lesson: He doesn’t love you; he loves the feeling of power he gets when you are dependent on him. If he can’t celebrate your peak, he shouldn’t be there for your valley. Again…He doesn’t love your strength; he loves your struggle because it makes him feel necessary. If he is only “on your team” when you are losing, he is a saboteur of your success.
3. The “Weaponized Transparency” Strategist: Future (The Public Persona) He tells you his most “toxic” traits or “messy” past on the first or second date. It feels like deep vulnerability, but it’s actually a disclaimer. By telling you he’s “bad at communication” or “a rolling stone” early on, he’s giving himself a hall pass to fail you later. It’s the “I told you who I was” defense.
   • The Lesson: Disclosure is not the same as change. If he tells you he’s a “work in progress” but isn’t doing any actual work with a therapist or a mentor, believe the confession, not the “vulnerability.”
4. The “Financial Fetishist”: Lawrence Walker (Insecure, Early Seasons) In 2026, there is a breed of men who “fetishize” a Black woman’s success. He loves that you’re a “Scholar Goddess” because he sees you as a soft place to land; permanently. He’ll ask for “business advice,” try to get involved in your payroll, or suggest “merging assets” before he’s even established his own. While Lawrence was a “nice guy,” he settled into a place of comfort where Issa was carrying the entire financial and emotional load while he “found himself.”
   • The Lesson: A partner should be an asset, not a liability. If he’s more interested in your business plan than your heart, he’s a consultant, not a king.
5. The “Selective Activist”: The “Hotep” Archetype This guy talks a big game about Black liberation and “protecting Black women” on social media, but in his personal life, he treats the women around him like options or “helpmates” for his ego. He uses “pro-Black” language to groom you into a restrictive role that only benefits him. He’ll tell you to “stay soft” so he can lead, but he’s not actually providing a safe environment for you to be soft in.
   • The Lesson: Real protection is private, not performative. Check how he treats the Black women he isn’t trying to impress.
6. The “Privacy” Perfectionist: James “Ghost” St. Patrick (Power) He’s so “private” that you’ve never seen his actual home, met a single long-term friend, or seen his face on his own social media. He tells you he’s “keeping the relationship sacred,” but he’s really just keeping you in a silo so his other lives don’t collide. Like Ghost, he has one version for his “main” life and another for you, and neither really knows the whole man.
   • The Lesson: You can’t build a legacy in a vacuum. If you’re still a “secret” after months of dating, you aren’t being protected…you’re being hidden.

The Internal Compass

The most important thing to remember is that red flags are just your intuition trying to save your time. In 2026, we are too busy building to be “fixing” men who don’t want to be whole. If your gut feels tight when he speaks, or if you find yourself constantly “translating” his bad behavior to your friends, that’s your sign to exit. t’s about being protected. Your energy is a premium resource, and in 2026, we don’t have time to be anyone’s “project,” “disclaimer,” or “secret.” When you see these scripts playing out, don’t wait for the season finale. Flip the script and stay in your own light.

Stay feminine, stay focused, and remember: Your standard is the sanctuary where your greatness lives. You are a Goddess who knows that excellence is a prerequisite, not an option, and your peace is your divine right. You’re just a woman, but the world is reshaped by the height of the bar you set.

With love,